Femita Ayanbeku Doesn’t Have To Choose Between Being A Mom Or Being An Athlete

Femita Ayanbeku never doubts her ability to qualify for the Paralympic Games Paris 2024 as a new mother.

There are days when Nailah, her 3-month-old, fusses a bit, and Ayanbeku gets less sleep than she would like. Days when it feels like she’s lugging bricks when she runs.

That’s when the two-time Paralympian reminds herself, I gotta do it, I gotta make it work.

“I love being a mom, and I love being an athlete,” Ayanbeku, 31, said. “I have to make sure I’m staying present and taking things one day at a time. I need to be 100 percent committed to being a mom and being an athlete.”

Too often, she thinks, women feel they must choose. However, that’s not a choice Ayanbeku is willing to make.

“I’ve heard so many times, ‘Once you have kids, this becomes your life,’” she said. “And yes, this is my life. But I don’t like the idea that I have to give up being an athlete. Bringing (Nailah) to practice with me and having her with me all the time, that’s a way of showing people, ‘OK, I just had a baby, but that doesn’t mean (motherhood) can’t complement my training.’”

So, when the Americas recordholder in the 100-meter T64 hits the gym, her daughter is with her, comfy in a travel bassinet. Sometimes, Ayanbeku incorporates Nailah into her workout, doing squats while holding her in a car seat.

“Oh yeah, she is at the track with me pretty much every day,” Ayanbeku, who trains at high school tracks in Nassau County, Long Island, said. “I found this amazing gym where I can bring her with me, because my fiancé (Dexter) is in nursing school, and he’s gone during the day. I have to kind of have her with me all of the time.”

That has its challenges, but Ayanbeku wouldn’t do it any other way.

“I want her to be in this environment, I want her to see these things,” she said. “In the Paralympic world, I think we’re all very adaptable. I used to go to the track by myself, but now my daughter is with me and however that looks, I’m ready to figure it out and make it become a thing. It’s my new normal.”

Adjusting to a new normal is something Ayanbeku is used to. At age 11, the Boston native was a passenger in a station wagon when the vehicle struck a guardrail and spun out of control. Ayanbeku was thrown from the car, sustaining injuries to her lower right leg that required amputation.

For years, Ayanbeku struggled with her body image. She played basketball in high school, but her prosthetic made it too painful. In 2015, she met two-time Paralympic medalist Jerome Singleton at an event held by the Challenged Athletes Foundation, and he introduced her to the Paralympic movement. The foundation gifted her a running blade, and she began sprinting. Less than a year later, she qualified for the 2016 Rio Games, where she competed in both the 100 and 200.

“When I went to Rio, I didn’t really know what was going on,” she remembers. “I hadn’t even been running a whole year.”

At the 2019 world championships, she won bronze in the 200 and placed fourth in the 100. When the pandemic-delayed Tokyo Games came around in 2021, she hoped for a medal, but a positive COVID-19 test forced her to isolate in her room for seven days, draining her mentally. She did not advance to the finals in either race.

“People don’t really know my potential, what I’m capable of, and I feel like (Paris) is my chance, although now I just had a baby,” she said. “So things just keep on coming, but I feel this. This is my comeback time.”

Ayanbeku trained throughout her pregnancy, adjusting to her body’s needs along the way. Never a big eater, she increased her caloric intake, eating bigger portions and keeping nutrition shakes and breakfast bars on hand as snacks. She drank a lot more water. Most important, she learned to avoid pushing too hard.

“I would wake up and go to the track for my run in the morning, and then after that I would go and do my strength session, whether it was lifting weights or just doing Pilates,” she said.

“It was more challenging just accepting my body for the new condition it was in, understanding that I could train, but I’m also growing a human. (When) I was three or four months pregnant, I was starting to actually feel something inside of me, something more that what I was used to feeling.”

Nailah entered the world in early February after 24 hours of labor. While Ayanbeku said she is still “trying to get her core back,” training is going well.

“I’ve honestly felt a lot better than I thought I was going to feel, based off of what everyone was telling me,” she said. “I definitely owe a lot of that to training throughout my pregnancy. … My coach (Sherman Hart) tells me I don’t look like I just had a baby, based on the running that I’ve been doing. So, I’m definitely happy with that.”

With the U.S. Paralympic Team Trials – Track and Field scheduled for July 18-20 in Miramar, Florida, Ayanbeku is focusing her efforts on the 100, although she also plans to compete in the 200.

Ayanbeku also has big plans off the track. In 2015, she founded the non-profit Limb-it-less Creations Inc., aimed at providing sports and equipment opportunities to people with physical disabilities. She also serves on the boards of two other non-profits, the Born to Run Foundation and Adaptive Sports New England.

“When I started my non-profit, that’s when my running career took off, so it took a backseat and I started getting more involved in other non-profits that were a bit more established,” she said. “The work is very important to me. When I started Limb-it-less, it was basically a one-person show, and of course as with any non-profit it’s a lot of work. … I know once my athletic career calms down, I will be full throttle back into it.”

That time will likely come after the LA 2028 Games, when Nailah will be 4.

“I’m very comfortable and satisfied saying I will definitely be retiring after Los Angeles,” Ayanbeku said. “Four years doesn’t seem so long to me anymore. I feel like these Games keep happening every time I blink my eyes. My daughter will be able to come and see her mom do her thing, and then I will bow out gracefully.”

For her first Mother’s Day as a parent, Femita, Dexter and Nailah have big plans: a trip to Lagos, Nigeria, where Ayanbeku’s family has roots.

“My grandfather just turned 94, we are going to see him,” she said. “I am going back for the first time since I was my daughter’s age, so it’s come full circle. I’m coming back almost 30 years later with a little me, and my grandfather gets to see that.”

Lynn Rutherford has covered five Olympic Games, including the 2022 Winter Games in Beijing for TeamUSA.com. Based in New York, she is a freelance contributor to usparatf.org on behalf of Red Line Editorial, Inc.